So MsMary already did an absolutely stunning job on this outfit.
But I needed to at least try something, anything. I do not have plaid blazer, nor black and white oxfords. I do have a shrunken tipped blazer Thom Browne for Neiman Marcus x Target (by the way I have had this jacket for over a year now, and only now snipped off the threads closing the rear vent. The shame!). A plaid shirt from Marshall's years ago. R13 shredded jeans and Prada white golf shoes.
I was riding the bus this morning to work and a fellow passenger asked my about my jeans. He asked me if I bought my jeans like this. He said it happened to his jeans in the washing machine and it was probably about to happen to his current jeans as they don't make jean cotton the same anymore. Judging by the multitude of plastic bags he was carrying with his stuff, he was either homeless or of a very low socioeconomic status. I actually felt a bit guilty about my jeans, considering they're made in Italy and all. He also asked about my Pendleton messenger bag, thought the pattern was Guatemalan.